


Until the dead can't Walk

by Acrystar



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5377304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acrystar/pseuds/Acrystar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the W attack, Spencer Moroe wants to learn how to fight and he asks the only person from Rick's group he trusts with his life : Daryl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler for the new season (6th) of Walking Dead, until the 3rd episode.  
> I'm a French speaker, I try to write a good English, but that my first fanfiction in this language and it might be a little untidy.  
> The third chapter can be read separately.

Alexandria is not a bad place, Daryl hadn't think he would open up here, however, he’s riding his motorcycle on the south roads, looking for a pasta machine, for whoever the woman’s name was that was asking for it! He doesn't care about the Alexandrian citizens’ names. He’s with Rick’s group, he knows Deanna cause she acts like the psychologist he needed to see when he was still that abused child and somehow he hates her for that shit. Remembering his past, running in circles in her living-room, trying to evade her questions because he doesn't want to speak to a fucking psychologist! He doesn't speak freely about his past, no one knows his past entirely, he just says what they need to know and that’s all.  
He thinks about the fact that he’s living more or less in Aaron and Eric’s house since their group have accepted to stay here. All of them have embrace their own rhythm and life. He doesn't want to live with Rick and Michonne, Carol asks him to stay with her, but he can’t find home anywhere… Well somehow he found it in Aaron’s garage, in which Eric had put a bed for him, but after months and years into the wild, it’s a luxury he cannot appreciate. It’s like gifting a cozy nest to a savage beast… It’s useless, but it’s the first nice gesture someone had ever done to him, so he sleeps into the warm duvet on the floor.   
Aaron is right, he is a marginal like the gay couple, but for different reasons. He doesn't care, even if it might because of his past, yet, he cannot care less when Aaron touches Eric or when Eric kisses Aaron, he doesn't give a shit about their sweet words or if they fuck each other! Daryl isn't Merle, now he knows it!

 

He's not a killer, he's not like them. Spencer is looking into the air, still clung to his rifle. It smells smoke, blood and death; it smells pain, lost and emptiness. He’s so desperate. Even if his mother is still alive, he misses his little brother, he still haven't mourn his father's death, and now... well he is there, deambulating into Alexandria streets, lost and broken cause he couldn't succeed to save even one life. He is useless. He couldn't fight, he doesn't have the spirit Rick and his group have. He’s just a kid, still a school student with a lot of dreams, and now it's like he lives in hell. Dropping on his knees, he looks at all the dead bodies, crushed by all the wildness their aggressors had. Mutilated bodies... brunt friends he had lives with. There are some arms here, next to a headless body; this is too much for him and he just throws-up.   
Yeah, the girl, Rosita had it right, he has no more best reason to fight in this dark age, than to protect the ones he cherishes the most, his mother, and his remaining friends. For this night, this last night on earth, he will live as Spencer, the young student promised to a good career, well tomorrow, he will be a fighter, he will be a survivor!

 

Aaron is lost into his thoughts when Daryl came back from his long walkers trip, they had succeed to send away most of the dead from Alexandria’s zone, but lots of them remain only because of the attack. People wash their front door, are burning the bodies of the W group and dig grave for the Alexandrian citizens. Lots of them lose all their trust in the humanity but Rick and Deanna are there to gather their spirits!

\- You ok?"   
\- Yeah..."   
\- How about Eric?"   
\- I think... I think he made it alive. I... can't find him, but he has to be alive... he just... can't... he…"

There is a hand on his right shoulder, Aaron tremble for a brief moment before his eyes make contact with the biker. Eric needs to be alive, he needs to, cause he shall not be able to go on living without him. Yeah, he really loves Daryl, but it's not the same. He just cannot think of Eric's death, they made a promise and he wants to honor it. Before the sadness took him, there is a shout, and someone’s running toward them. Aaron allows a smile as he saw Eric coming for him. He thanks Daryl before grabbing his second half for a deep embrace in front of their patio. Eric smells home, he smells safe, he smells... good.

\- I was afraid..."   
\- Shh... I love you. I love you Eric, don't dare to leave me before due time."   
\- I won't. I was in the clinic, I was safe."   
\- Good."   
\- Can we...?"   
\- Fuck yeah..."

The couple walks behind Daryl without hiding their future occupation, the redneck raises a stunned eyebrow when more flesh than he needs to see is exposed to his eyes. Well he knows, of course he knows! But Eric and Aaron are very discreet with their love life, especially in front of him. Daryl cannot help laughing when the gay couple rushes for the first floor, closing their bedroom door loudly. Well... he’s gonna need a smoke by the way, so he’s gonna leave them for now. He cannot make it more than the front lawn, when a voice calls his name. He knows who the guy is, but he's nonetheless startled to see him calling his name as he walks quickly into his direction. Deanna's last and first son made a quick smile before clearing his throat, searching for his words. Daryl stay silent, he had turn into the kid's direction and he exhales his smoke waiting patiently.

\- Could you... teach me? Teach me how to be strong."   
\- Me?"

He cannot stop this awfully silly question, but he's not Rick. He never teaches anything to anyone. He has no skill for this because he is a loner; well he was, cause now, he lives with a gay couple who is presently fucking with each other like it's the world's end... Thinking about that, it's mostly the case. So the guy wants to be a survivor? That's good. They lose too much people this night; they need to be more organized when their attackers would come back.

\- I mean... you seems the stronger one, and... Well, i don't feel like asking to Rick."   
\- Why?"  
\- I don't like him."

He doesn't like Rick? That's not an odd; a lot of people don't like him to be too rude with the out-Alexandria's-walls-truth. Yeah, this group didn't know how it is out there and they need to be prepared.

\- And you like me?"   
\- I think you're cool."

Bad boy and all its charms! Daryl rolls his eyes but stay silent. He crushes his cigarette butt with his boot before looking straight to the guy eyes.

\- Ok!"

Daryl needs to kill his unforeseen free-time and what's better than a good fighting lesson? Maybe a beer... His bow behind his back he asks Spencer to follow him on the back yard. He teaches him some tricks, some good moves for protecting or for killing. The boy is studious and does his best for repeating Daryl's instructions. As they fight on the back lawn, Daryl realizes that Deanna's son is far from being a harmless boy; he's even a good fighter. Perhaps he misses self-esteem, maybe because he was an overprotected teen, but yesterday massacre must have been a good fuel for his newly fighting spirit. Daryl even took some blows, when the guy lost his temper after his third defeat.

\- Wrath is good, but you need to keep control, you'll get killed if you cannot stay cool in any circumstance."   
\- Sorry..."   
\- It was a though day."   
\- Yeah. May I... well can I come back tomorrow?"   
\- Sure, made it for 6."   
\- AM?"   
\- Is it too early for you?"   
\- Not at all."   
\- We're going for a patrol, we need to kill all that bastards that wandered near Alexandria."   
\- I'm in!"

When he came home this afternoon, bruised and tired, his mother looked at him like he was another person. He just smiles, before taking a piece of cake, kissing her gently and goes to bed. For the first time in his life he had found something in him, something worth pain and aches. He found his way!

\- Are you ok?”

Spencer stops the music giving his mom all his attention. Deanna had seen him leaving the house more than once, for going out with Rick's people. The last attack changed her son, he's not his little kid anymore, and this guy on the couch is a man. What a strange thing to realize!

\- Why you ask?"   
\- Another bruise."  
\- I need to be faster."   
\- Do you fight with Rick?"   
\- No. With Daryl! He's a good teacher. I need to be able to protect the person I love, I need to protect you. Mom, we need to know how to fight. I want to be part of this, you know?"   
\- I know..."   
\- Dad is dead, Aiden's too... I can't afford to lose you. Moreover, I don't want to die. I want to live, I want to survive. If they come back, I want to kill all of them, I will protect our people..."   
\- You speak like him."   
\- Maybe... But I value more our friends than him. I value people's life. He wants to close Alexandria, I want to open it, I want it to be bigger, stronger, even more peaceful, but for that we need to pay the price. Each bruise, each punch, each tear is a step toward this goal. I'm not Rick and I don't want to be. I just want my father's dreams to become true. We need to protect it for he will still live with us."

Deanna is quiet, looking to her son with some kind of stupefaction, he's not anymore the Spencer she had known, but he's not a bad guy either. She strokes his hair before sitting next to him.

\- Be careful."  
\- I will. I assumed I was alone and lost. I'm not, you're not. We have each other. We have a bigger family outside. Some are good people, some are friends, and some are funny, other weirdoes. We have good-looking men... and girls!"   
\- Men?"   
\- Well for your eyes, I mean... I don't know."   
\- So who are the hot guys?"

Spencer laughs, he comes closer to his mother putting an arm around her shoulders. He misses his old life, when he was a young guy with no clue to his future. He misses his long afternoons with his father, listening to his stories meanwhile holding his younger brother in his arms. Yeah... He misses that time, but he can't do anything about that, he just can go on living, living for his father and brother to not disappear entirely, for remembering them until his own death.   
They chit-chat until night, trying to adjust in their new duet life filling the emptiness of the house with laugh and fun. He speaks about his training, about the hunts, the killings; he speaks about his new friends, about Aaron, Eric, Glenn and Daryl. His new life...

\- Spen'?"

Spencer puts the security on his rifle as he steps on the ground after his shift. His mother is waiting for him for dinner, so he needs to go home, but as he was heading for that plan, Daryl pops out of nowhere calling his name. Frankly, it's a first, so he gives the man his undivided care. Daryl smokes, backed to a tree, the guy has crossed his arms, waiting nonchalantly for him to get closer.

\- Wanna fool around?"   
\- Let me guess... they need some private moment?"   
\- Guess right."

He could have gone to Rick's house, but Daryl seems to avoid the guy since his new leadership rules. They don't have the same vision of, how to expend Alexandria; it seems to part them more and more...

\- Well, it's dinner time, mother waits for me, but you can join."   
\- Having lunch with your mum?"   
\- Why not?"   
\- Are you trying to introduce me to her?"   
\- I still need her approbation before fooling around with you."   
\- What? Wait, what's your age again?"

Spencer laughs as he passes by the redneck, he's pretty sure Daryl will come; he starts to know the man. No matter how hard he tries to convince himself to be a lone wolf, Daryl needs a pack and for now, his pack is divided. He's still with Rick and his group, but he needs people that share the same lightness and hope he still has for the future, so Aaron and Eric became his new family, Spencer's only a new part of it. Sometimes he thinks of Daryl as a strange uncle, and more than once he found himself kidding with him heartedly. Somewhere, behind this bad guy coolness, there is a good guy, someone sweet enough to be a very good friend.

\- I'm kidding. You know that?! I'm 26, but there's no way I’m gonna leave her alone like that, so take it or leave it."  
\- You… little brat."   
\- Yeah... says who won today’s fight?"   
\- Shut up."   
\- Made me, old man!"

There a new slur before the guy leaves his tree for walking behind him. They walk in silence, as they approach the Monroe's house, Spencer broke it.

\- Ok... be nice, don't get her mad."   
\- What?"   
\- She's a psychologist, man. Even after 26 years living with her, I still cannot hide things from her."   
\- What sort of things?"   
\- Well... maybe I told her I love being bruised by you, you old man."   
\- Little punk!"

There is a shout and some giggles, as they squabble like teenagers on the Monroe's porch. It’s been three month now that they are closer to each other, spending free-time to play cards, smoking cigarettes, watching constellations... Daryl taught him a lot of things like how to track, how to hunt, how to find his way with only the starry sky, he taught him how to be a man, a man from this world, but he taught him to be a better man too, a better human being. Now, as he knows some of Daryl's past, he understands why he's so different than Rick or Carol... Daryl is sweeter, a beast on the outside, a fellow friend on the inside. Spencer grabs the brown haired guy as he loses his balance missing a stair as he tries to escape from Daryl. He almost kisses the hard wood, if it weren't for Daryl to catch him before he broke his nose.

\- You ok?"   
\- Thank man... Not sure my mother would have enjoyed seeing me coming with a bloody nose this time."   
\- You're not her child anymore."   
\- She needs me to be and to be true, I need to be her child, sometimes."   
\- Crybaby."   
\- Sure. I love hugs."   
\- Go find a lady."   
\- No way."   
\- Why not?"   
\- Well... I don't want to lose someone that is precious anymore. I just finished grieving my brother and my father; I'm not ready to go on."   
\- Are you afraid?"   
\- Who's not? We weren't prepared for that! Rick was right. Alexandria was our safe-zone; we had no guns, no fighting skills! We had live with blinders all this time. Now I see, and yeah, I'm afraid. I’m afraid to love, I'm afraid to die but that's make me stronger cause I won't die. I won't leave my mother alone, I won't leave the person I love most behind."   
\- So touching."   
\- I wasn't speaking about her..."

There's a pause, broken by the opened door and his mother's presence. She looks to Daryl who drops suddenly her son's body. Spencer crashes onto the floor with a loud thud as she smiles like a devious psycho.

\- Finally, here you are... I tough you'll never come. The dinner's ready go wash your hands kiddos!"   
\- We're coming."   
\- I hope, that’s not the case..."

She left them here after these strange words and her gently smile. Daryl is frowning when Spencer is finally up watching the closed door.

\- Your... mother's strange..."   
\- Why?"   
\- What she said..."   
\- Sometimes I don't understand her innuendo, psychologist things, I guess."   
\- Or you just don't want to. Let's go."

Daryl breaths in sharply, he wants to be outside in a walker's horde possibly, but not there. He understood pretty well what she had said, well with what had just confess her son, he has a great idea of what will come next. He wasn't an idiot. People think of him as a follower who don't give a fuck about his surrounding, but it's completely false. Daryl sees. He doesn't speak, he listens, he observes and if he hasn't see that's coming before, that's just because Spencer is pretty good to hide that sort of things!

\- So my son, says you were a biker before all that..."   
\- Yeah with my brother, until shits happen."   
\- Were you part of a gang?"

Daryl put his fork on the table, looking directly into Deanna's eyes. She's not judging, just curious. Well if he was her, he would be, even much more aggressive but thank god, he isn't. Looking things like this, he's happy to not have a family, especially not a son or a daughter.

\- A group approaching the extremist side of the wasp. Well to be true, crossing frankly the extremist side. I wasn't a good man."   
\- Past is happily behind us, for better or worse... That's good you aren't this sort of man anymore."   
\- Why strafing him like that? Can't you just stop this..."   
\- Sure... I could. But I just want to know the guy who fools around with my son..."

Spencer glances from his mother to Daryl before catching the real meaning of Deanna. There is a blank before he tries his voice stammering like a school girl.

\- We... it's not... I just. We don't... That's not what you think!"   
\- Really?"   
\- Really! He's just a friend!"   
\- I must have misunderstood..."

The boy's face is red and it's not from anger. Daryl knows perfectly how he looks like when he's mad. No this... this is discomfort! He could have put it on his mother's words, but Daryl knew better. After a long silence, Spencer stands up wildly before retreating into his room without a word.

\- He's still a kid."   
\- I know."   
\- Don't dare break his heart Daryl, you don't want to see the termagant mother I could be."   
\- That's not my wish. I didn't even know before today."   
\- Really?"   
\- Like you said, he's a kid and I'm really too old for that shit."   
\- I lost hope to see him like that. You know. He has never looked to the girls nor the boys when he was young. He was so studious, so serious... Spencer was so lonely. Of course he was still young, but a mother knows better. My son was meant to be single love never interested him, neither sex. Aiden had a lot of girlfriends, Spencer none. You're the first person he introduces me to, so that's means something. He may still be a kid for that sort of things, but you made him grow into a man. Sometimes I don't recognize him anymore. I wish him to find his way... I don't mind if it's with you. Just... don't break his heart, you're the first. First love can be devastating..."   
\- So... what should I do?"   
\- Why asking me? You should only ask yourself about what you want, Daryl. You're not too old to learn how to love. No one is."

Deanna bows her head as she rose onto her feet heading to the kitchen with the dishes. Without a word, Daryl left the house; he needed to walk into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Daryl knows Spencer's feelings, it's up to him to do something about it or just forget all that strange Monroe's dinner!

\- Long time we haven't see your suitor."  
\- What?"  
\- Spencer! What happened? Did you two fight?"

Daryl was taking care of his new bike, his wrench made a quarter turn before he straightens, stretching his abused muscles. So... Aaron was aware of Spencer's feelings? Well maybe that’s the gay-thing slash sense some people claim that they have... Daryl doesn't know, with his family he didn't had gay friends. The only gays he has ever touched before the dead walking apocalypse were the guys he has beaten up with Merle. His brother must be angry to see him now, friend with a gay couple and with a fanboy watching for his attention.

\- Daryl... that was so obvious!"  
\- Sorry, not for me."  
\- Maybe you just didn't want to see it. Hope you weren't mean."  
\- I wasn't. He avoids me like hell."  
\- Why?"  
\- If only I’d know! That's just a brat. Maybe he needs to speak with you.”  
\- Or maybe I need to speak with you. You’re the more tolerant ex-intolerant guy I ever meet, and you know, I encountered a lot of guys like your past self. More of them are still that annoying, well were, most of them must be dead now. Maybe the gay guy wasn’t that weak like they pretend me to be. Loving a man is not that different than loving a girl, I’d loved a girl once, she cheats on me, breaks my heart and all. Wanted to commit suicide because I thought I would not love like that another time.  This was without counting on the appearance of Eric in my life. I’m not sure where your sexuality tend to be, I’m not sure you know yourself, but would it be bad if you could grab something, even with another man?”  
\- I don’t fucking know.”  
\- You’re irritable my dear friend.”  
\- I don’t like that.”  
\- Sentiments?”  
\- Yeah, too complicated!”  
\- You’re not better by yourself. People tend to think like that, but when you’re in love with the good person… you understand how it was such a fucking lie. Love ain’t easy, but what worth living if you don’t try once.”  
\- How do you know I don’t try?”  
\- You’re stiff since I start speaking about that, and you got that stiff only when we speak about love or sex, so I assumed you’re awkward with that.”  
\- I do have try, you know and it was awful.”  
\- Maybe it just wasn’t the good person.”  
\- She said I was the problem.”  
  
Aaron was silent for a brief moment looking into Daryl’s eyes. He remembers all the time they passed together on the desert roads, running for their life or for this lonely horse. He can more or less imagine what the girl could have reproached to Daryl, hell yeah, cause he is very different from what you supposed him to be. If she was with him for his bad boy features and his redneck-biker etiquette well, he wasn’t his brother to treat girls like that!  
  
\- You are a problem, only for people who judge you from your appearance. I can’t blame you to be soft and caring, can’t blame you to be emotive and sensitive, nor I could possibly blame your awkwardness or your shyness, cause I love them. I love you Daryl, not the person you seems to be, but the person I learnt to know. I would have taken the opportunity if I wasn’t with Eric. Plus… you’re totally hot.”  
\- Don’t make me laugh.”  
\- Why? Because you do all you can for not being hot? Stop wasting your time, you can’t hide this sexiness! Just change your hair style, this is bad, really. Let me help you.”  
\- What? No way!”  
  
Aaron is faster than him, the gay guy is already dragging him into the living room without a word, and all his complains are well ignored. Eric is smiling fondly when Aaron pushes him into one of the four chairs, Daryl tries to stand up, but the guy just tackles his legs sending him right onto his ass.  
  
\- Stop being a pussy. I won’t make a gay queen of your ass…”  
\- It’s not what I mean. It’s just… I’m not sexy at all. Sexy is for girls.”  
\- Nah, it’s for men too. Hot hunks!”  
\- Make him a stud…”  
\- I’m no horse.”  
\- You need some lesson about gay lexical terms. You’re a hunk, a good piece of meat, but raw, all sex is good with a hunk, but that’s the problem, it’s just sexual fling. A stud… is a lady or male’s guy. A good pic for sex and far more! The good guy to have babies with, if you understand what I mean. My beautiful wild stallion…”  
  
Aaron is mocking him gently, not that Daryl is mad about it, he knows there is a lot of things he isn’t familiar with, especially in this sort of topic.  
  
\- He has already seen your wild charm, let him see the perfect mate he looks desperately for.”  
\- Oh my god…”  
  
He looks into the air without really thinking about something. It’s been a while since he takes the time to think about Daryl. Spencer is mortified by his mother attitude. He’s afraid Daryl would never speak again with him. Why had she said that? It’s not like he’s speaking about Daryl 24/7… Ok… maybe a little! But even, even if it’s real and he is in love with the guy, it’s his problem, not his mother business! Sighing, he crosses his arms on the edge of the windows, putting his chin on their top and he closes his eyes.  
Yeah, he’s in love with the guy, he’s not sure how, and when, nor why, but he can’t deny it. Maybe his mother wanted to help, but that wasn’t the good thing to do. He needed to analyze that. He had never experienced love, never, or just only for his family and friends. So it’s time for him to recognize that Daryl isn’t a friend anymore. He wants more, he wants more contact, even, why not kissing the guy… but then? How the redneck will react? He will break his bones! No… Daryl is not this type of person. He can’t see this working, cause he’s not even sure to want that to become physical. Spencer remember his little brother’s words, when he was speaking about his girlfriends and sex he had with them, pleasure he had taken between their tights… things that weren’t his concern and still aren’t. He never tries thought, so maybe he needs too. What will he do if Daryl likes sex and not him? Relationships are too difficult. Maybe he is a coward but he decides to kill that now. So he jumps through his windows walking to Eric and Aaron’s house.  
  
\- Spencer?”  
\- Can I speak to Daryl?”  
\- He’s in his room… he’s working on a map, so don’t lose your time knocking on the door.”  
\- Ok.”

Eric smiles when the kid is in the stairs. He scolds his lover for what he had just said.  
  
\- What?”  
\- They’re gonna make a fuss about this!”  
\- I’m sure they won’t. Just wait…”  
  
Eric closes his book, taking Aaron on his tights and kissing him tenderly on the base of the neck. Aaron is a wicked guy when it came about other people’s happiness.  
Before opening the door, Spencer made sure the room was quiet, and then he pushes the door entering into the redneck bedroom. He was thinking about what he will say so, he was taken by surprise when the guy bounces before crashing into the floor. That’s when Daryl was face against the carpet that he understands what he was doing before being disturbed. Well, for now, he has a good view to the guy naked butt as he was putting his jeans on. So Daryl goes commando… He’s not even surprised by that. The ex-biker finished putting his jeans before jumping on his feet, looking passably angry for the disturbance.  
  
\- Sorry… I just needed to… We… I can’t. I’m sorry about all that and I won’t annoy you anymore, you won’t see me again I swear. It’s just a huge mistake, a really…”  
  
Daryl frowns, he’s still shirtless but he’s not even nervous about it. He was ashamed of his scars but not anymore, not after reading that book about abused children.  
  
\- What have you done to your hair?”  
  
So… it works? Daryl is the first surprised by that, he just slides his fingers into his hair remembering what Aaron have done with them. That reminds him some sort of pop stars!  
  
\- You don’t like?”  
\- Of course not.”  
\- Aaron’s gonna pay for that!”  
\- Aaron? He did this to you? Are you in some kind of… three way relationship? If that’s the case, I’m just… it’s just… I’m not hitting on you anymore!”  
\- Stop babbling. For fuck’s sake, I’m not with them! This is ridiculous!”  
  
Spencer seems to think about his previous statement, maybe the guy is freaking out about this single word and well Daryl is not very at ease about it either.  
  
\- I… That wasn’t what I wanted to say. I’m here for…”  
\- For what? I’m not worth this… whatever it could be?”  
\- Daryl… I’m afraid about… that.”  
\- Sure. So we’re two.”  
\- I’m not sure about what I want. I really like you, being with you is great, hunting and fighting with you is the best. Perhaps I wouldn’t mind more physical contacts, even maybe the permission to kiss you but that’s all. I’m not ready yet to think about love or sex, I never consider it and I don’t want to. So… just forget about it.”  
\- You never consider the fact that it could suit me?”  
\- Er… Could it suit you? This won’t even be a real relationship, I’m afraid I could never had one.”  
\- I was beaten into a pulp by my own father, be sure that I don’t like physical contact. I’m awkward with them cause I only received punches, I don’t know how to react to gentleness I never had that before all hell break loose. But… occasionally I might like it. So you’re not gonna take my fist into your cute little face of yours for pushing me to my limits. That’s a pretty fucking good news! But… the rest… it’s up to you. I’m no homo, that what my other self wants to say, but the truth is that I don’t fucking know and I don’t give a shit about that anymore. If I wasn’t ok with that, you would have known.”  
  
Spencer sighs, he sits on Daryl’s bed, looking into his eyes searching what to do next. He was here to erase all this strange feeling, but there are more of them now that the redneck has spoken his mind. He grabs and pulls his hair, anxious about this entire fucked situation.  
  
\- I… I was disgusted about what he has done with his girlfriends, my brother... Sex is a waste of time. Kisses seem pretty acceptable, but I never try, never had the reason to. I think a lot about that because of you…”  
\- So… why you ain’t going to the real thing, kido? I’m right here.”  
\- You’re going to mock me about my inexistent skill.”  
\- Practice already! I won’t bite, I ain’t that kind of guy.”  
  
Spencer bites his lips doubting about what he will do next, but suddenly Daryl’s grabbing him by the collar and hauls him to his feet. The guy moves are wild and untactful, but he’s here in front of Daryl, never this close to him. He shares the same air, shivering when the man exhale. They lock eyes and then Daryl is coming for his lips. It’s testing, deliberating slow, his partner is letting him adjust to this new intimacy. Spencer loosen between Daryl’s hand, eyes closed he feels hands caressing his skin, one climbing into his hair angling his head as Daryl deepens the kiss invading his mouth. The second one draws their bodies much more closely until Daryl’s heartbeat became his.  
Sensations are too much for a moment, he needs to escape from the redneck's grip. Spencer is surprised when Daryl let him go, but the man just smiles warmly.  
  
\- So is this worth a try?”  
\- I want to say yes.”  
\- Why you ain’t?”  
\- I want to be sure about one thing.”  
\- Shoot.”  
\- If… If we go to… you know! Are you top?”  
\- That ain’t obvious? Sorry kido if you want to do me you’re gonna need to be very, very persuasive!”  
\- No… I don’t want to. If I give it a try, I want you to lead.”  
\- Sounds good.”  
  
Spencer is smiling when his arrow went through the deer’s heart. He looks Daryl who praises him before running to their prey. Spencer puts the crossbow behind his back, approaching the redneck that is cutting the animal in pieces. Spencer doesn’t like that, hot blood… strong prey scent… He’s sick when he tries to help Daryl, so he’s just standing next to him, looking to their surrounding for dead’s presence.  
  
\- Good job.”  
\- Thank you.”  
  
They pack the meat and jump into the pickup, they are silent, appreciating their time together, one hand on the wheel, the other on Spencer tight, Daryl focus on the dirt road as Spencer hums a long forgotten tune of Muse. Not his type of music, but the kid likes rock, it’s still something. They don’t have a lot in common but they aren’t totally opposed.  
  
\- Want to fool around when we come back?”  
\- Sure…”  
\- Aaron is still with Rick for the last twenty four hours and Eric is helping our new medic.”  
\- Home alone?”  
\- Yeah…”  
\- As long as we said to mum that we’re back.”  
\- We will.”  
\- She really loves you, you know. I wasn’t expecting that.”  
\- Well… for now! If I make you cry she says something about cutting my balls.”  
\- You won’t.”  
\- I really hope so.”  
\- Daryl?”  
\- Yeah kido?”  
\- I love you.”  
  
Daryl’s left brow raises quizzically before he allows himself a laugh.  
  
\- Love you too Spencer.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer said it. He had learn to love, but what this love will become if Daryl is not there anymore?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is containing a Major Character death. Daryl's death.

There are gunshots in the distance, it’s coming from Alexandria, so the redneck steps on the gas. As they pass the front gate, Spencer gives back his crossbow to Daryl who shots a W guy.

\- Mom…”  
\- Go find her! I’m searching for Carol, Glenn and Michonne. Go to the clinic with her and lock down into it with Eric and Tara!”

He doesn't have time to ask for Daryl to be careful he’s already running through the streets killing all the people with the W mark. He has to be vigilant, taking his gun he fires for protecting, he kills for keeping on living. He found his mother into the secret area they made last week, and as Daryl asked him, he runs with her to the clinic and barricaded it after saving three people from their attackers. They stay silent as the screaming echoes into Alexandria’s streets, now, there is a lot of safe zones, like the clinic for people like them to hide.   
He needs to be out there for protecting his people, but Tara is still weak, there are six wounded and no one really knew how to fight properly if someone managed to break the door. So he needs to stay here, keeping this people alive is his only goal.

Two hours later, only the silence remains. It’s Sasha and Abraham who unlock their refuge. Most of the people had time to hide in the shelters but there are new graves to dig, new people to cry for. He helps Eric to find Aaron, leaving his mother with Sasha.  
The good thing is… there is much more W dead’s bodies than Alexandrian’s citizens, twice more to be exact, the other things is that none of his close friends are dead, but Daryl is wounded and their nurse is helpless. 

Days go on and there is pretty much no more hope to hang on. Spencer empties his new glass of alcohol under the scrutinized eyes of his mother. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t leave the house, nor does he accept any food. His son seems to be broken since the last time he saw Daryl almost dead into his stained sheets moreover he’s acting like he wants to destroy himself. She could say something, it’s her mother’s role and psychologist’s duty but she’s lacking of words…

\- Spencer…”  
\- He’s gonna die… She cannot do anything for him and I cannot accept it. It will kill me. I will kill myself and don’t try to stop me mom, cause I cannot go on living without this guy. That’s fucking hilarious, isn't it? Look at me mom… look at myself saying that I’m in love… Me… yeah… fucking crazy. I don’t wanted to be, but I am… I… He doesn't have the right to leave me behind, so alone, so hollow…”  
\- I know…”  
\- Have a good night mom. You know I love you, will always do.”  
\- Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”  
\- I won’t.”

It’s midnight when he pushes the door of the clinic, Daryl’s still as pale as the snow and still unconscious. His right hand is now caressing the redneck hair, trying to warm his sleeping face. Suddenly two eyes opened, trying to focus on their surroundings.

\- Where…”  
\- Clinic.”  
\- Bad?”  
\- Yeah…”  
\- Am I gonna die?”  
\- Probably.”  
\- Fuck… I wasn't imagining me agonizing on a bed when I had pictured my death…”  
\- You won’t.”  
\- Are you sure you can handle it?”  
\- Depending the answers you will give me now.”  
\- Shoot.”  
\- Do you love me?”  
\- You know I am.”  
\- Forever even after?”

Daryl grimaces because of the pain, so he closes his eyes trying to figure if Spencer was speaking about the promise he says he won’t honor.

\- Love dies when we die… that’s all.”  
\- So don’t die, cause if you do, we will die together… and then… we will know if love can survive in this sick world… until dead can’t walk…”

Daryl doesn't want to be a dead man after this life, he doesn't want to go on living in that form, brain empty from all that was once, him… Just him. That’s not living. He doesn't want to leave Spencer neither. So he just raises his cold arm for Spencer to grab him. Daryl can’t even stand alone on his two feet, he needs support as the fever goes straight into his blurry brain. He tries to keep consciousness as Spencer takes him into his arms leading him to the truck. His eyes prevent Glenn to say anything as Spencer ignites the motor, pushing the car through Alexandria’s walls.  
The ride is eventfulness. They approach their hunting place when the sun starts to warm delicately the landscape. They are alone in this beautiful meadow and all could be perfect if he wasn't bleeding to death.

\- Are you ok?”  
\- Fever…”  
\- Ok, it’s almost done. Love you Daryl. I really do. Never had the reason to say it to someone, so you are the first and only one. Make this special…”  
\- Love you too Spencer… I… I can’t see you… Where…”  
\- I’m here by your side, Daryl. I’ll never leave you.”

Something is pinching his wrist skin as voices scream into his head. He sees them, walkers all around him, moaning and whispering him to join them. Hands grab him pulling him into the thick darkness. Daryl shouts like a mad man before suddenly dropping dead into Spencer’s arms. The young guy tries to not cry, as Daryl’s blood stain his right hand. The blade found his lover heart putting an end to the redneck pain. Now he finishes his work, waiting for Daryl to come back from the death.

\- I’ll never leave you!”

Daryl tries to stand still, his blind eyes scanning the zone but seeing nonetheless. He can see, but all the previous image in Technicolor are now only in shades of gray. He tries to walk but suddenly something stopping him, something seems to block him from taking the south direction. He looks to his wrist, seeing something white ringing his skin and seizing another wrist next to him. He needs some times to understand what he sees and his eyes are now tracing the length of another arm, until he founds another man tied to him by the wrist and the collar. They look to each other for a long time, searching in their empty minds why they are like this, why they are not alone in the grayish world. Suddenly the stranger walks toward him and Daryl follows.

The deer is warm under their cold skin, Daryl is chewing some fresh and raw flesh filling a strange gap into his heart. As he turns his head to the other lifeless body next to him, he tries to make a smile, his rigid corpse moves and he doesn't know why but, he takes the strange piece of fabric in his back pocket to clean the dark stain his partner have on his dry lips. He knows the guy he’s sure of it, but he has forget who Spencer was for him. But as they live their death together, their eyes lock, theirs hands close one over the other and they just walk… They kill people or animals, they go one living, somehow. The winter is cold and dry, sometimes, his other self tries to sit into his lap and he just looks into the horizon, fearing a bloody living corpse. Daryl doesn't know, why or how, he don’t give a fuck about it, he’s living into the present and for just this reason he will defend Spencer from whoever is wanting to do him harm.

\- Oh my god… Rick…”

Glenn put Daryl’s crossbow into his back, stunned by the spectacle he has just saw.

\- What?”  
\- It’s Daryl… and Spencer.”

Glenn smiles as the two walkers hug each other on the cold ground, Daryl seems to have heard him, cause his face rotate slowly on his direction. The walker looks at him, but doesn't seem to mind him, cause his face turn back where it was before, on Spencer shoulder.

\- Is he trying to eat Spencer?”  
\- Protecting him… Look.”

Rick is uneasy for a moment, before he takes the opportunity to grab his weapon and aiming for their heads. He is surprised by the strange coordination the two walkers have as they raise and walk into their direction. He sees the rope that link their necks and the plastic cuff that keep them together. Before he takes his shoot, Glenn deflect his aim by a quick movement on the left. Rick is even more shocked to see Daryl in front of Spencer, keeping him safe behind his back.

\- Leave them be. They are not a threat.”

It’s real, Daryl is still, looking in their direction but not walking toward them anymore. The ex-policeman wonders if Daryl recognize him, or if the redneck knows who he is. He calls for him, but the walker never responds. He simply takes Spencer by the hand and leads him far away from them. Rick doesn't try to follow them, but he just cannot erase this image. What if the walkers can learn how to live again? Maybe no one will answer this question, but as he thinks of Spencer and Daryl while telling Deanna what he saw, Rick want to believe that’s the case, and one day, maybe Daryl and Spencer will come back, remembering who they were and why they act this way, while all the other corpse have long forgotten their humanity. For once, Rick thinks there is hope and Deanna and Glenn thinks the same.

It’s a beautiful dawn, even if they cannot saw the colors. Daryl looks into the sun’s light trying to organize the strange thing that came across his damaged brain.

\- Ryl…”

Why did he turns his head to his partner? He’s not sure. He stays still, looking to the other guy who's trying to articulate something. It’s already dark when suddenly the other walker says this word. The same the dark haired man with a gun says sometimes ago. Daryl… Was it his name?  
The corpse next tom him raised his head into the black mass above their head. It’s the first time he takes the time to really look it. There are some pale spots here and there… pieces of light echoing some strange word meaningless for him. Cassiopeia, North Star… and so on.

\- Da… ryl….”  
\- Go…”

The destination is undetermined, unless his sixth sense is still working. He doesn't mind to get lost into this black and white world as long as he’s with…

\- Sp… pen…”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to correct some of my mistakes, feel free to do so. I have a lot to learn with the English grammar!


End file.
